Michael will get you through a hangover

Here’s how we can all wade through the perils of life, à la Michael.

DISCLAIMER: Michael is not a trained therapist, nor is he claiming to be – he’s just a really, really, really nice guy with some really, really, really nice words. Ok, let’s go.

DIRTY HANGOVER

“It’s Friday, and whether it’s Zoom or ‘normal’ life, you feel like partying like there's no tomorrow. There is a tomorrow though, and you celebrated a little too much. You wake up the next day and, yep, you have one thick hangover. Do not fret because fortunately, this hangover will not last forever. Don’t let it bring your day down, or do. But as you try desperately to detoxify yourself with Kombucha or Gatorade, think about positive things to come like, you know, next Friday.”

BREAKUP HELL

“You thought they were the one for you but it turns out, they’re not. If you’re blaming yourself then STOP. The breakdown of a relationship isn’t one person’s fault. You are not to blame! Somewhere down the road you will feel full again, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Take it from the guy writing this. Don’t beat yourself up about this. You are a strong person.”

FANCY A BIG SPEND

"You got a bonus, a big cheque, or maybe you just NEED to treat yourself. There are soooo many questionable things you want. A fishing pole, a boat, or even a brand new gaming laptop with liquid cooling valves and a VR headset. STOP. Quick, just check to see if you have any upcoming payments or memberships that are gonna hit before your next paycheck. Say it after me – better safe than sorry!!!”

If you still feel like you need to be told you're IT, head here.

If you're feeling top already, send this to your friend with a dirty hangover right now, we all have at least one.