June 1, 2020
/
Culture

Your pandemic purchases, rated... there are worms

It’s that time again, the one where we dive deep into the shocking depths of Twitter to find you raving or repenting about your latest buys.

Have things gotten worse since last time with, you know, the ducks? Let’s see. Here are your pandemic purchases, rated.

ROMANTIC POTATO

Starting strong. Pretty inexpensive and with arguably huge effect. Extra flair in the face-confetti (in case the massive spud with 'MISS YOU' on wasn't enough). Dan also has half of his dinner sorted, and for free. He's a lucky man. Iconic work, Tiff. 8.5/10.

SNAILS

No better time to arrange some extra company, and snails are pretty low maintenance when it comes to money and time. Plus, the one on Courtney's thumb is showing the attachment levels we all dream of. SAVE THE SNAILS. 9/10.

POGO STICK

Make Riley our leader. Great form of exercise, just the right amount terrifying and only a 67% chance of breaking something. Great odds. 7/10.

UNIDENTIFIED BLUE OBJECT

Thank God. Just as you were all doing a little too well, Claire came through and saved things. Utterly terrifying. Would say send him back but we worry about the repercussions. Good luck sleeping Claire. 3/10.

WORMS

If not done, like Courtney's Snail escapade, to save the worms from people's stomachs, then what for? Worms don't hug you back George. Pensive 4/10.

CAT SOMBRERO

Don't think this needs explaining, does it. Here we have this week's 10/10.

If we've got you feeling inspired to spend, why not help someone out who is in serious need right now? That, is a proper pandemic purchase. Become an 11/10 pandemic spender.

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